An anthology about an adolescently aged adult. Beyond the biography of a blissful and bold being, beautifully bound in the book of bee. Crafting creative collaborations and courageous compositions of her course.
It seems like every time I take 1 step forward in my progress with anxiety, life seems to drop kick me so far back, all of the progress never mattered.
I knew going into 2017 it would be a rough one, but I had no idea how scary it really is so far. We are only in March and there have been issues that if I didn't have therapy, I would most likely have been dangerously unhealthy and worn out in every way manageable. As I am writing this, I can feel my anxiety picking up a bit (Bianca, where are your feet?). It seems like every time I make progress to overcoming my anxiety, another part of life sneaks up from behind and drags me backwards.
Skip to September...
I had a tough time trying to figure out how to write this post; all my words kept stepping over each other and wouldn't allow them to form sentences. What are the chances that I open this post right as another one step forward, two steps back event appeared in my life yet once again. I keep asking myself what I did to deserve the feeling of accomplishment only to have someone punch me in the gut and feel the same way I did before, usually even worse. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, but I just wish that there was a map to show me what is coming up ahead so I can prepare.
But that's not life; that is not what God wanted us to know. I do believe that God wants us to struggle (and not in a horrific way where he's punishing us) and he wants us to work to climb out of this hole. As I type these words out, I still fight with the fact that God puts us 2 steps back because he doesn't think were strong enough yet to go forward; He is protecting us. I know God doesn't put us through anything we can't achieve, so why would he push us through the storm if we are not ready for the end of it? many people have been stuck in a storm for years, and that is because God knows that they need to prepare themselves and work to get out of it. God will be there the whole way, but it is up to us to push ourselves through. Whenever God sees us going forward in a direction that we may think is right but really isn't, He will push us back and re-route us. He is doing it for our own good. The problem we have is that we are so focused on the step forward, when we take a step back we only get angry because we thought we were going the right way. Instead of focusing on the progress you came from, focus on getting back up again and going in the direction God wants you to go.
This is a tough lesson to understand and is a lesson I currently am working on and until the lesson is learned,